He asked to "fluff my boner.."
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
