It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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