the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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