on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize