And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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