also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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