Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize