yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
