then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
