Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
