all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
