He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
