Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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