oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
