Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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