Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
