eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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