if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
