when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
