omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
