**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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