i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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