How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
