Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
