Small penises have feelings too.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
