I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
