omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
