someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
