i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
