The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
