Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You can't motorboat a personality
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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