There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
