he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
