yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
