You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
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Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
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You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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