He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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