real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
