I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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