let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
