goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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