but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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