he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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