I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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