Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
