I wish you could order shots online.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
