Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he fucked my hip out of place.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
