it wasn't lemon gatorade
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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