yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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