i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
