Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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