The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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