he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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