paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
