I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
