You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
