I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize