Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize