You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
