my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I am spending my child support on dildos
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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