textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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