i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
