Can i not drive my cunt home
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
