Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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