My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
