u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
