i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
