operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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