I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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