I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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