You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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