If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
